Life had other plans

“Since I took biology in school, inspired by my parents, my ultimate plan was to do a PhD and get into research. Although I did not have the faintest idea of what a PhD was or how research progressed, I followed the conventional trajectory to embark upon my high-school ambition. After my undergraduate studies, I enrolled myself in an integrated M.Sc-PhD program at TIFR, Mumbai, and took the first best opportunity that came my way.

Freshly out of my Bachelor’s, I expected that the curriculum would be different than for a PhD program. Except for the tenure, the timelines and course-work were similar for both the programs at TIFR. That astonished me the most. To top it off, I had no real research experience or even the slightest clue on how to pick a project, supervisor, or even a laboratory. Altogether, it took me quite some time to fit in. Nonetheless, I went with the flow and enjoyed my first year.

Things started going downhill from there on, when I found myself stuck in an auto-pilot mode. I realized that I was doing my PhD just for the sake of it. The element of my love for science was missing. This made me anxious and took a toll on my mental health. But my first bona fide epiphany hit me around the same time, and made me realise I had jumped into something that I was hardly ready to commit to, too soon. Hence, I decided to take a step back and rethink my choices.