A war with anxiety

“In college, although I had a vague idea about research, I wasn’t exposed to good laboratories which would allow me to have hands-on-training on the various techniques that I was reading in the books. So I was quite skeptical about pursuing a PhD because I thought I wouldn’t fit in.

After my Master’s, I went for a six month internship at Biocon in their research and development wing. But I left it within two months because the work didn’t excite me or equipped me enough to enroll myself for a PhD program.

Earlier during my post-graduation, one of my college professors had subtly suggested that I should give a thought towards doing a PhD. After I left Biocon, I appeared for the PhD exam conducted by the central university and got registered under the same professor who encouraged me to pursue a PhD in the first place. I was beyond elated because the laboratory was near my hometown and the idea of doing research while being able to enjoy the homely comforts was hard for me to pass on.

The institution did not have proper infrastructure conducive to research, but we had some money from grants that we could utilize. We saw potential in what we were doing and were happy with where the laboratory was headed. However, a couple of months later, we got an announcement that some of the professors, mine included, would not be given a permanent position in the institution…